I’m 86. I’m always 86 (a mature saint at this point) and I’m at a house on a porch….a porch of all places. Nature and I seldom see eye to eye so you can imagine why this is strange for me. Anywho, I’m on a porch in a rocking chair taking in this beautiful view. Right as this beautiful summer breeze is hitting my face I would pose the exact same question to my 86 year old self. “Did you accomplish everything you wanted to in your lifetime, Ki?” This overwhelming sadness would always follow because my answer would be, "No."
This is the dream of my biggest fear.
Prior to having this dream I use to be a perfectionist meaning I use to wait….and wait….and wait until everything was perfect before I went ahead and presented the world with whatever it was I was cooking up. Now while there’s nothing wrong with making sure that you cross all of your T’s and dot all of your I’s the arrival of those perfect moments are few, far, and very in between. A lot of the time I would waste more time preparing for that one perfect moment than actually implementing, encouraging, and improving upon them. I’d wait so long and it seem like a year would pass in a day’s time. I was ALWAYS waiting to be good enough when the awkward truth was…..
I’d never be good enough in that moment.
Yes, you heard me right. And that my friend is the beautiful part!
It is beautiful because it means you have no cap. It is beautiful because even on your very BEST day you still have room to improve.
So what that meant/means for me from now on is that if God had the nerve to lay it out in my mind RIGHT now, I’m gonna have the nerve (the audacity even) to get those plans in motion RIGHT now. Even if I have no idea of whom, how, or where I’m going to do it. Saints if God gave you a dream or a calling I encourage you with everything in me to stop waiting and press play on your efforts. You’ll never have it all together all at once, but you can still make one heck of a difference now! If you can dream it, you can do it! You can. Simple. Someone once told me that God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called. Stop ignoring your call. God didn’t dial the wrong number when he called you.
Every day I’m trying to make that 86 year old respond with a yes! Time waits for no one and neither do your dreams so stop acting as if you have all of the time in the world. You don’t. Don’t entertain the what if’s. Only be concerned with the what now’s.
So yes, the truth is I’m not good enough now…..I’m perfect. So are you.
Love you dreamers,
Ki