Life is a strange thing. You start it off and it feels like a stretch. It feels long. You think you have a lifetime and then the lifetime starts. Things that once seemed to take an eternity now take the equivalent of seconds. As a kid you remember thinking you just want to grow up. You feel it’ll never happen, but then before you realize it life is actually happening. It’s happening at an alarming rate. You’re growing up. You’re realizing every time your parents warned you to enjoy your childhood while you can that it was for good reason.
You realize you still feel like that freshman in high school stumbling through the hallways of life trying to find your right class. You realize that end of the world feeling you felt over your high school sweet heart break up was far from the end of the world. That feeling is now reserved for bill payment and the feeling you get when your car malfunctions or you blow the savings account funds you spent months collecting in one day on account of life. You realize the permanent and untouchable adult warriors you had surrounding you and protecting you as you grew were actually still humans that made/make mistakes. You realize how much all of those times your folks said "No" equated to the avoidance of many potholes that life tried to throw at you.
You realize that even in the way you can vividly recall moments like your 8th grade dance, high school graduation, and college that kids look up to you now and actually see you in your progressive state. You realize if you really wanted to you could bear and support children if your life swung that way. You realize how those very premature adult decisions some of your friends made messed over their lives entirely. You realize how many times you were just one car ride away, one party away, one relationship away from making a similar poor decision. You realize more and more what “but God” really means. You realize you absolutely adored your childhood and how it wasn’t that bad at all. You realize you and your parents are role swapping in more ways and more quickly than you expected at this point, but you’re still scared of a mean parental backhand.
You realize your body has tricks of its own and it's fake meaning sometimes it might betray you and expose you to the fact you’re progressing away from being invincible. You realize life is something you should be forever grateful for because people can and will die at some point. You realize you have no time to waste. You realize your time is now. You realize you’re said age today, but since years pass like days now you’ll wake up and be five years older tomorrow. You realize more and more how good God is. You realize just how far your grandmother’s prayers went along with every other person that ever prayed protection and covering over your life. You realize you’re the evidence of their answered prayers. You realize your life is a testament to a lot of people’s blood, sweat, and tears. You realize you’re important and what you do will set the tone for some kid looking up to you or coming behind you. You realize you’ve come far yet have so far to go. You realize that in itself is exciting and beautiful. You realize you’ve realized a lot.
That’s how it happens….then you realize you have to answer to how you will finish it someday.
So….how will you finish?
Much Love,
A thoughtful dreamer