Lately I’ve been in this season of dryness. I mean like literally everyone around me seems to have been prospering in some shape, form, or fashion. Well everyone that is except me. I have friends getting married over here. Others are successfully getting through cuffing season with new boos over in the cut. (I’m sure this is a feeling only I know though lol.) I have friends hosting events and being recognized down over yonder. I have people getting promoted around the corner, people coming out with breakthroughs down the block, and everything else good that you could possibly think of. So there’s all of that and then somewhere down the line….there’s me. In what appears to be a season of nothingness or what feels like a whole season of being glossed over….There. Is. Me.
Now I know I might be the only one feeling this way….I get it, but in the rare case that I’m not alone is the reason behind why I’m writing this to you all.
October 24, 2016.
It was a Monday and I found myself walking into my job like normal. I said hello to everyone like normal and was strangely called into a meeting at 10:30 AM to speak with a guy I’d never seen before. Forgot his name, but that’s besides the point. He was there to tell me I was laid off that day. Simple as that.
I didn’t cry. I was just stunned. It was all new. I thought I was liked by everyone. Why lay me off? Was I not special enough? What didn’t I do? Welp God gotta have it because I don't. Clearly. I was two days out from signing a new lease to my own place and boom. We were here. A month later I got a new job by the grace of God. I thought....ayye "Come thru Lordt!", but in a month that felt like a total lie honestly. The new job was challenging and stressful. It was rough. I dreaded coming into work and feared I would be fired for about two weeks straight. I didn't feel special. I felt like “What is the point here?” I felt like every step I took was into a slight pothole but somehow….I’m still here. And I am better. I am sharper. I am more experienced, aware, and prepared.
So fast forward to today as I sit at my desk again feeling like the world has glossed over me once again and that things are just uneventful, I look back on October 24, 2016. The time when nothing was going right. The time when I struggled finding purpose in the things I needed to do. The time when I questioned...."Well why?!" all the time. That day and that time prepared me to confidently sit here and deal with these similar emotions. Emotions of being overlooked, of not progressing quickly enough for my own liking, feelings of wth, inadequacy and all that. It is because of that time in my life that I can sit here from experience and know that greater days are right around the corner from this here season.
I am not forgotten about. Today is not just another day. There is a purpose for even this season too and there will be another time down the line where I look back over these days fondly. So with the end of the year fast approaching I just want to encourage you that even if your year didn’t pan out for you how you thought it ought to….you are right where you ought to be. You will be stronger. You will be better. You will accomplish those goals and you will be able to reflect back on such a time as this and smile.
So here’s to purposeful days no matter how uneventful they seem.
KT