So anybody that knows me knows that I am one of thee happiest people you will ever meet. I love meeting new people and making them feel comfortable right from our initial meeting. I love extending kindness because well....I have no reason to be mean at all. Strangely, while I have always been able to extend emotional support to others like joy, comfort, and acceptance lately I have found myself struggling to extend those kindnesses back to me. And it made me want to isolate myself and I even began to.

Yes. Me...the social butterfly's social butterfly. 

The last few weeks I found myself being isolated accidentally and intentionally. My apartment became an eerie refuge. Options became available to me like letting relationships subside just to see if anyone would come searching for me. God felt further away. My failed attempts at accomplishing goals this year seemed amplified and I let them eat at me. The nearing of a birthday also magnified this looming isolation to some degree because I started wondering things like "Who do I really have in my life?" and "Who is this woman I am now? Is she where I wanted to be at this age?" All of these thoughts were going on when all I presented in public was a smile and wave. 

Here's the good news: I'm coming out of that place. Happily. Getting out of that place has been made possible simply by allowing others into my space and admitting the things I was dealing with. Next, instead of granting myself isolation I granted myself more time with friends and family. I'm still working on doing more of that now actually. Also, thanks to some necessary Jesus time and some self-acceptance I realize there is still time to do the things I want to because God's timeline is never off schedule. There's still plenty that he's doing.

Here's the newsflash: These thoughts could be that of anyone and you would never know. They could be your sister's, your brother's, your best friend's, that guy or girl you went to high school with a few years back, your pastor's, anyone’s. Some people could even be surrounded by a sea of people and still feel alone and unheard.  

Here's the point: No one is invincible and we need each other. No one is strong enough to do life alone and we need to take it upon ourselves to ensure that no one does. Let's talk more. Let's stop responding with "I'm fine" and "I'll be ok" when we don't know if we will be. If you see someone crying out for company on their social media outlets or even in your presence reach out to them. You could be the very uplift and encouragement they need. So again reach out! Vulnerability is uncomfortable I know, but it is liberating and necessary in order to reset and rebuild and come back stronger than ever. So open up....I'm sure you'll be happy you did.

Much love dreamers,

KT